Ha, she just replied. All is good... Seems the DADT is more about Bert's disinclination to want to talk about personal things very much, rather than not being open to talking about it in principle. So, "DADT" was a poor way to put it, really... I'm glad I brought this up, and no doubt we will discuss more later. Also, as a flow-on effect, this might clarify things for Ocean too. So far he has respectfully avoided any explicit conversation about poly matters, with Bert. I really don't know how much of this is necessary.
Ah, this confusion shit is why I don't like any kind of DADT in the first place. You can't figure out what people actually feel about the things you think you're not meant to be talking about... including whether you can talk about it!
What a lot of tiptoeing around when grandma wasn't even sleeping.