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Old 02-24-2013, 01:47 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,616

Originally Posted by Velvet View Post
Somewhere in my intro thread I said my dream poly goal would be cohabitation with my two partners. That's what I want, and of course I hope to reach that one day, but unless everyone feels ok about it, it won't happen.
True...and true.

At one point, during the turmoil of discovery with Dude (which I handled BADLY, for the record) at one point I asked myself "JaneQ...What do you really WANT?" - my answer to myself was instantaneous, "I want to live with these two boys, on my little plot of country, and live happily ever after." At that time, it seemed like a pipe-dream - I didn't see how it could ever work out...yet here we are. Sometimes the world does allow us to achieve our desires.

On the other hand, there have been plenty of times that I wanted something (a baby, for instance) and put that out there into the ether and it didn't happen. You roll with the punches...

I spend a lot of time considering how I will react when/if Dude finds himself another girlfriend (more than he does - although we have talked about it) and, of course, it all depends on what SHE wants ... and she hasn't even entered the picture yet. HE has stated that a basic requirement for him is that she has to at least be tolerant of him having a continued relationship with me (recognizing that our relationship will necessarily change as a result).

If we take his basic requirement into account, that still leaves a whole RANGE of possibilities on the table. Say she eventually wants to live with him as well? I can't promise that I will be okay with adding a fourth person to our household (obviously that would depend on the person, how they got along with the rest of us, etc... and we might need a bigger bed ) - BUT I can see Dude building another house on the property and sharing his time between the two. Or living with her and coming to see us on some kind of regular basis. Or..?

The scope of possibility is broad.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (24+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (5+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
SLeW: platonic girlfriend and BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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