Truth is that if I leave him,I can never get back together with him.I already have no self respect, he tried to breakup and I begged him not to. A partner should never have to beg for anything,I lost all self respect when I begged on my knees.'
To me that sounds like you went into shock. Don't worry so much about what you do in the heat of the moment, in shock, when you are just not in the right frame of mind.
Worry more about getting back INTO a sensible frame of mind and making clear, sensible decisions that are in the interest of YOUR own best healths and YOUR own well being.
This is going to suck either way. No doubt about it.
Could choose the path of least suckage. Could choose to leave this situation and letting him deal with whatever wacky he wants to chase.
- He wants to live with James? Great. Go live with James and James' house then. You are not living with James. He is free. So are you.
- He wants to sell all the things and go travel? Great. Split up the things, he sells his things, he can go. You are not going. He is free. So are you.
But YOU say "NO!" to this madness for yourself. You do not have to participate in things that do not interest you. (I know that is understatement.)
If you truly think he is suffering from anosognosia,
where he is loopy in the head and does not realize he is ill and loopy in the head, it will be VERY hard to deal with. Esp if he does not want to go get treatment. Do you think you are looking at involuntary commitment?
Is he a danger to himself or others? Is he depressed? Manic up and down bipolar? First with the crying in the night and then this "wheee!" fantasy stuff? Clearly this is bad, but you are the one who is there to know HOW "bad" this bad is. It's too hard to tell from a distance online.
But dx or not -- on the James/gypsy travel front it's still a big fat NO, for YOU right? So go with the "NO! I will NOT be a part of this." And let that be what it will be. He wants to break up over it and be wacky, so be it. He wants to yell at you because you "won't let him" do wacky -- fine. Yell.
Ignore him for a bit. Get YOURSELF into a healthier space first. Then determine the next choice that is on YOUR plate:
- If you need to deal with some serious health care actions, prepare.
- If you are just done, be done and walk away. Alert his next of kin and save yourself.