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Old 02-23-2013, 08:01 PM
opalescent opalescent is offline
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: US
Posts: 2,153

Oh Jeteo,

This is heartbreaking. I feel terrible for you.

A few points. He's not being a Dom. He's being an idiot. A Dom, even one in the middle of extreme NRE, takes notice of his sub's concerns. This is unacceptable behavior for anyone. A good Dom is supposed to care for your welfare too, not just what his dick wants.

Also, he appears unwilling to change anything or to listen to you. Or go to therapy or do anything that challenges what he wants to do. He is going to do what he is going to do. He is deep in some hellish combination of selfishness, mid-life crisis, cute boy syndrome, and NRE. And he is not smart enough or self-aware enough to see the life ring you are throwing him.

I'm so sorry. This is going to be hard to read.

Your marriage is over.

You didn't deserve this. You didn't do anything to cause it. It is not your fault. You've attempted to find a compromise. One is not possible with him right now.

It's time to save yourself.

It's time to leave, Jeteo. Why now? Why not try the travel and living with the 18 year old?

Because of this statement - pasted because I muffed the quote feature -

'[Galagirl]You may not enjoy starting a new chapter of your life without him, but you will not enjoy starting a new chapter of your life WITH him under these conditions! You can choose to love him from a safer place, that is OUT of the line of fire if he's hell bent on crazy self destructive or relationship destructive things.

[Jeteo's response] Truth is that if I leave him,I can never get back together with him.I already have no self respect, he tried to breakup and I begged him not to. A partner should never have to beg for anything,I lost all self respect when I begged on my knees.'

A spouse should never lose self-respect on behalf of a partner. Never. I know you love him, married him, and want to stay with him. But he has already left you and this marriage. You are begging over a corpse and a part of you already knows this.

It is never ok to self destruct for a partner. It is NEVER EVER OK to make yourself less than who you are for a partner. You are worth so much more than this.

The only thing you can control is your actions. Act to preserve your sanity and well-being, your life. I am very serious. Staying in this marriage under these conditions is destructive to you. It is soul destroying.

Please, for the sake of your soul, leave.
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