Originally Posted by MaryvilleEllis
Mostly because I think people often confuse Poly lifestyle with swinger lifestyle. They are vastly different! Poly lifestyle to me means 2,3,4 people come together in a mutual & very MONOGAMOUS relationship & agreement between each other, Polyamory has nothing (from what I understand) to do with a swinging open (sleep with different people/couples) but only in a sexual way then everyone goes their own way.
I think that it is excellent that you know what you are looking for for yourself!
I just wanted to point out that what you seem to consider the "poly lifestyle" is only one of a myriad of configurations that are possible under the "poly" umbrella (which really only stipulates the capacity to "love more than one" in an honest and ethical way). You are describing a "closed" relationship model (I would use the word "polyfidelitous" instead of the word "monogamous"- since there would be more than one person involved - i.e. "Just us three/four/x - and no more" as opposed to "Just us two and no more."). Which is fine and good and there are many poly folk looking for this type of relationship configuration.
BUT, there are also versions of poly that involve an "open" relationship model - (which doesn't have to involve "casual sex"!) where the people in the relationship are free to date and form loving (not just sex-only) relationships with other people. These relationships may then be hierarchical or non-hierarchical depending on the desires of the participants.
ALSO, some poly people ALSO swing - so the two are not mutually exclusive.
There is a world of possibilities out there