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Old 02-23-2013, 06:43 PM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is online now
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,525

My husband goes through bouts of depression (not precisely the same as grief, I know) and it is still difficult for me to discern how to "help" him - especially because when he is feeling that way HE doesn't know what would help.

The tack I take now - I ask him if I have done something to upset him or if there is something that we need to talk about. If no, I ask him if there is anything that he needs/wants from me - physical presence, listening ear, soothing food or music. If no, I leave him alone and work on keeping myself happy (if his sad makes me sad then he feels sadder).

Sometimes doing nothing IS doing something.

Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" V-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (23+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (4+ yrs) and MrS's BFF
Lotus: "it's complicated"
SLeW: platonic girlfriend + BFF
+ "others" = FBs, FWBs, lover-friends, platonic G/BFs, boytoys, etc.

My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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