I'd stick to poly groups or having trusted people set up meetings/gatherings. That way if you meet someone you already know, you have something in common and the need for discretion is well understood by many poly people.
Avoid places like OKC because you WILL run into someone you know there (and that can be awkward as fuck, poly or no).
I am as direct as a T-Rex with 'roid rage and about as subtle. It isn't intended to cause upset, I just prefer to talk plain. There are plenty of other people here who do the nice, polite thing much better than I can. I'm what you'd call a "problem dinner guest."