Thread: i need advice
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Old 02-22-2013, 11:44 PM
avoCantigas avoCantigas is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Originally Posted by Anneintherain View Post
And im with her for 3 years, and sometimes im starting to feel limited and Bound socially.
It seems like you assumption that the cure to feel lonely from a lack of being social is to find new partners?

????????????????????????? Im not talking about fucking... im talking about having friends, being able to send text messages to my colegues, being able to go out with friends without her behaving like a police... im not talking about fucking other ppl.

I am a very open minded dude, what really matters for me is Love, the feeling, not the Carnal attraction of sex... Yes, i fuck with her, and i love it, but its not her pussy that i like... its her person, her soul... Everybody likes sex, right? But sex is a carnal thing... love is not.
I feel you are either contradicting yourself, confused about what you want, or being unclear due to language differences. If I read it right you say love not sex is what you think is important, and later on says you're interested in sex, not necessarily love, with her cousin, if I read it right

where im contradicting myself? If she wants to not fuck other ppl, or fuck i dont care, i dont feel jealous to her, im trust her a lot.... But she doesnt trust me

the sole concept of me speaking to her cousin, is enough for her to become jealous and afraid of losing me... Yes, i would love to experiment stuff with her cousin, i will not deny that... and me and her cousin are also very good friends. But I am a honest person and i dont want to do anything that will hurt anybody....
She is already jealous about the situation, are you interested in an open relationship where a relationship with her cousin it off the table? Have you told her you ARE interested in her cousin? If so she seems resistant to the idea, which she has the right to be.

Me and her cousin and her, were always very close, like family yes... Both of them trust me with everything. I don't want any label to put on my relationship like Open, or poly or whatever, i dont like labels, all i want is an Advice on how to resolve this...

I need advice, on 2 things...
first: How can i convince her that for me, it doesnt matter who fucks who, but who loves who, who trusts who and , who Respects who?
You cant convince her of anything, you can tell her that's how you feel.

I tell her how i feel and she gets jealos

Her jealousy is very infantile, but i understand her at some point, because im her first BF, and she doesnt have too much friends...
That's judgmental, she has the right to have her own viewpoint, it's not less than yours if she wants to be monogamous and thinks its the right choice for her.

I dont care being monogamous with her , and only her... I want to be able to have a social life without being constantly triggering her Jealousy where it there no need to. im not fucking anybody on her back.

I have a very open mind and i have my principles and ideals pretty defined, and i have good intentions with the ppl i love, but this situiation is killing me from the inside.
Killing you from the inside? That you want to have sex/love/what her cousin? That you want to be nonmongamous? That you are lonely? You aren't particularly clear about this. Obviously if you feel that strongly about whatever it is, you need to address it.

... ?

its hard for me to be called a boyfriend, because even though im always there for her and have the funtions of a boyfriend, im also her best friend and i have been always loyal to her. I really see no difference between a Boyfriend and a best friend, since its only a LABEL in my opinion , Boyfriend is a pretext word for a man to fuck a girl, and then dump her 2 months later... im not that. if she decides to not have sex with me anymore i will not leave her, i can totally agree with not fucking her...
Well no, that's not what a a boyfriend label've been with her 3 years, obviously that's not what it means to her.

and there is another thing its making me start to become insecure.. if i label myself "best friend" Im afraid of her getting a dude that fits her definition of Boyfriend, and that boyfriend brainwashes her against me... I Love her, and she loves me, i wouldnt mind living my whole life wihich her, but without all that nonsense jealousy and shit... what can i do??
Is she interested in dating other people? If so she can introduce her as her boyfriend & best friend if that would somehow make you feel better and explain the relationship you feel you have together.

thats is not what i asked
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