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Old 02-22-2013, 06:20 PM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Originally Posted by Tamcat View Post
that if the original relationship wasn't stable and secure, that adding another one seemed to expose any weaknesses, unhappiness in the original one
This is VERY true. I can see why he took it as a did, turning your thoughts on poly into thoughts about him, but you are absolutely right about this part. Any existing relationships DO need to be solid and stable before adding more people. Since he doesn't seem willing to read links, articles, etc he probably won't come on to this forum and read this, but a LOT of poly people agree with your statement above. It doesn't make poly a bad/negative thing, but it can make it more difficult or take more time/effort, which is part of why poly isn't for everyone.

I sympathize with trying to get him to read articles and websites. TGIB is slowly coming around to reading stuff I ask him to so we can talk about it, but it's been a struggle and we had to reach a blow-up point before he seemed to accept the necessity. Our biggest hurdle is also effective communication and conflict resolution, so I feel ya, but I don't really have anything helpful to contribute because I'm still figuring it out myself.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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