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Old 02-22-2013, 03:22 PM
Sabriana Sabriana is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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My husband is not on this forum at all that I'm aware of, although I talked to him last night about this whole thread and my feelings.

I guess I could have just searched the past threads instead of looking for a personal take on things and I hope that was not out of line. I looked but I did not look really hard, because I was trying to understand it myself.

I told him that I feel very distant from him, that I didnt want him to kiss me, or touch me, but I asked him to do those things with me last night anyways, thinking that I could just move through it and the distance would dissapate. Instead, he touched me sexually and I just (completely unexpectedly) burst into tears. I had been so busy trying to be "ok" with things, that I hadnt even figured out what I was feeling to begin with. (so much with being good about 'faking it' huh?) I was totally in shock. I cried and we talked and talked and then we had sex, I had an orgasm, and yup..cried again. I am someone who VERY seldom cries so the whole thing took me immensely by surprise. I'm still feeling a little less good about being with him than I wish I did, but better overall. It ended up not being about the new guy at all, but about him being with someone again after he hurt me. The second he touched me I had a flash of him with his new girlfriend and it hurt...way more than I could have ever anticipated. (and I've been poly with him before this)

I wish I was over him hurting me already. Its getting old even for me.

Last edited by Sabriana; 02-22-2013 at 03:26 PM.
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