Wow, great response sparklepop.
It occurred to me to consider your situation from this angle, OP --
Would your husband assent to you bringing a burlier, buffer, hairier, and more forcefully dominating older man into your home for your benefit, along with James, making this a foursome arrangement?
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.