Originally Posted by Natja
Is it me or does this all seem a bit contradictory? The OP has already allowed herself to be somewhat controlled by the people in her relationship so maybe they feel they have the right to lay down the law?
I think it would help if they all sat down and re-worked all these expectations.
Well, yes and no. You and I may see it as contradictory that she allows her bf to limit her sexual expressions to just women; however, this model may be exactly what she desires. I know other poly women that are solely committed to their male partner but still desire to be with a woman. So all of her needs may be met by a vee with a man and a woman.
I think all three parties are absolutely within their individual rights to express what they need and desire in a relationship. Weaving those needs and desires together is what forms the whole relationship model to begin with. When those needs and desires change, the relationship model may not longer satiate one or more parties. That's when new needs/desires need to be communicated, and the relationship model may need to be re-evaluated.
That's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it.