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Old 02-22-2013, 06:01 AM
ThatGirlInGray ThatGirlInGray is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Northern Cali
Posts: 552

Hi Tamcat. I was going to clarify this part for GalaGirl, since I think she misread it:
Originally Posted by Tamcat View Post
despite me asking him repeatedly if we could wait and talk about it when we were both calmer and in a better headspace where we were both trying to come from caring about each other's wellbeing instead of being angry and defensive.
but since you've already done so I'll just add: if it were me (or, when it is me, cause this can happen with TGIB especially) I wouldn't have asked if we could wait. I would have just stopped engaging and responding. You can't choose his behavior, but you can choose yours. Rather than trying to get him to agree on ANYTHING when he's not in the headspace to listen, I would have just said as calmly as possible, "I'm not going to have this discussion with you right now. When you're calmer and ready to be more constructive you can let me know."

Otherwise I don't have anything to add except I'm very sorry you're having to deal with all of this, and my condolences on losing your dad.
Pan Female, Hinge in a V between my mono (straight) husband, Monochrome and my poly (pan) partner, ThatGuyInBlack
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