Originally Posted by Anneintherain
Well you could ask her that first one, but it sounds like your answer to her request is "No" so I would just say no.
I'm with Anne and GG. It is certainly your partners prerogative to express their desires and it is equally reasonable for you to give them a response they might not like. If "no" is not an acceptable answer then it wasn't a question to begin with; it was an order.
Me: male, 43, straight, non-hierarchical, independent