I'm guessing if she had had better manners in that first meeting, you'd be feeling much less stressed right now. When my husband meets people I am dating, I give them a kiss hello and a kiss goodbye. I can't even picture doing more than that unless I'd made sure any and all partners were comfortable with it ahead of time, or everybody was friends.
I'll also imagine that you wouldn't feel so hurt by the texts you read if you hadn't already been tender. Hopefully you can negotiate on that subject, and that she understands if she wouldn't straddle a guy (etc) in front of her parents or coworkers, it's probably not appropriate to assume you'd be comfortable with it either without checking.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.