Glad to meet you here, I have been a member here for not quite a year. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like you've been through a lot. It's quite big of you to take responsibility for your issues and take time out to work on them. I know what it's like to have issues, I will probably always be a little out of sorts, but I'm a lot better than I used to be.
You will get some help here. Do lots of reading and posting. If you post something and no one replies for awhile, ping that thread with another post to get it to the top of the stack. Polyamory.com is such a bustling site, things do get lost in the shuffle from time to time.
I hope you get the help you need and come out on top once again. If you've done it before, you can do it again. Just be aware of your abandonment (and trust) issues and try to take a step outside yourself once in awhile, observe yourself as if you were an outsider. Reach out for the help that you need.
If you post (on this thread) a link to your new/upcoming thread, I'll have a look at it and try to help.
Good luck and regards,
Love means never having to say, "Put down that meat cleaver!"