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Old 02-21-2013, 06:53 PM
AnnabelMore's Avatar
AnnabelMore AnnabelMore is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,285

My take (this link should take you directly to my comment, but if it doesn't just scroll down to the comment from "Anna M.", that's me):

The problem seems to largely be one of different definitions, always a problem in subcultures. My impression is that most people would define unicorn hunters as an m/f couple seeking a bi woman to be with both of them (I would argue that the gender is irrelevant but thats neither here nor there). So, it'll probably be helpful to accept that you will be considered unicorn hunters by virtue of meeting that definition. What you seem to be arguing is not that you are not unicorn hunters, by that definition at least, but rather that not all unicorn hunters are acting in bad faith. Still, many women will avoid you because they *don't* want to be expected to get involved with two people as a package, for all the reasons I described in the comment linked above and more.

Personally, my question is always: what would you do if the person you're seeking, after some time dating, ends up only interested in one of you? Dump her? Or be ok with it? If the latter, I, personally, wouldn't class you as unicorn hunters per se (though, as I've been describing, others still well). It's the overemphasis on a particular structure that I find most problematic and most likely to break hearts and screw up lives.
Me, 30ish bi female, been doing solo poly for roughly 5 years. Gia, Clay, and Pike, my partners. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler.
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