@learninginTN we should have worked through this before moving forward. We had actually decided to focus on US instead of outside relationships this year after having had to ask our third to move out in a really unpleasant situation, and decided to just have fun together. So he sets up a double date for us with a friend and her husband. (hey wife, we never hang out with other couples, why dont we ask y & z if they will go have dinner with us?) Somehow, within a matter of days of that discussion, my primary fell for this girl and she fell for him (they'd been talking for months already but I had thought it was platonic), and her husband had apparently liked me for quite some time that I hadnt been aware of. I wasnt prepared for this but I like them and was hoping to make it work. At first I felt like being with the husband was like a... "have to"? because my husband and his wife were together, and I was pretty resentful of that... but the more I talk to him, the more I like him for him, and inspite of the situation, not because of it. I really never expected to have "NRE" issues with my new guy, because we've both gone really slow as far as dating without much intimacy, prior to last night.
I guess I just dont know how to tell my husband that I dont want him right now... and I dont think its just because I had a good night with my guy as much as the fact that he was with someone else and I've withdrawn from him about it. I was afraid that I would not be able to handle it, that I'd have some severe emotional response and want to pummel him or something (not that i'd actually DO that, just figured that amount of anger). I thought I'd call an end to the whole thing if i couldn't handle it... but i dont feel that way. i feel almost... numb to them being together. Not happy about it, not sad about it. Just seperated from it... the only thing I feel like I need a break from is the unwanted attention of my husband.