It could be both. Your partner hurt you and you lost your trust, of course you feel disconnected and insecure around him. You definitely need to work on this and tell him what is going on right now.
And you are totally lost in NRE with your new guy. That's normal as well. Additionally to this emotional state your new partner didn't hurt you yet (I guess) and it's just all new and shiny. It's impossible that you won't see him in a brighter light than your husband.
I would regard those two relationships seperately. The relationship with your husband needs work! Do the work and try to reconnect, but for this to happen he has to earn your trust first. The relationship with your new partner is just that: new. Start slowly, see where it goes, try to not compare him to your marriage and try not to think of the relationship of your husband too much. That's no gamescore the both of you try to achieve and settle. Take your time and try to solve each matter in the given context.
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.