Thread: BDsm
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Old 01-05-2010, 03:41 AM
calicowgirl calicowgirl is offline
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 7

Great thread!

redpepper-- I have to agree that our friend's attitude about sex and S&M in public play spaces is not the norm in my area. I am in So Cal and attend parties fairl regularly. Even at the places that allow penetration, it isn't something that always takes place. I actuall very seldom see it happen. I have attended BDSM conferences across the US and have found it to be the same so I think ou have a very good chance at finding play partners who do not expect sex.

My advice would be to be very open about what you want, your expectations and ask them the same. There are also always alternatives for people who enjoy sexual release along with their S&M play. You can negotiate the possibility of a "hand job" or of some dirty talk or what have you while they pleasure themself to finish things off. Doesn't always have to be tab A into slot B or similar. Have fun with it.

Also, check your local community events. I know ClubX in San Diego does something called an Exploratorium before each play party. It is open to the public and for something like $5 or $10 a person can go in and wander from station to station trying things out. They often have a flogger and whip station where someone who is knowledgable in those skills will either flog/whip you or give you pointers on weilding the impliments yourself. They usuall have a needle/sharps station, one for electrical play, paddles and other impact toys, inkless tattoos... etc. It is a great experience for people who want to try things before buying or maybe ask questions on what is best to purchase.

I also recently went to an educational presentation on making our own toys from things you can find around your house or at the hardware store for cheap. It was fabulous! Anway, check around and see if any of the groups near you offer anything of the sort. If not, maybe suggest someone starts. lol
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