So here's what happened yesterday. I get home from work just in time to change clothes to get to my Ballroom dance lesson. It's W's turn to take care of the kids. She picked them up from preschool at about 5:30. When I get back from dance class, at about 8:00pm, I see her in the kitchen, the kids already in bed (earlier than normal), and I say "Hi, babe". I get no response, no acknowledgment that I'm even home. I can tell she's upset about something, so I ask, "Is this something you want to talk about?". She yells, "Do I LOOK like I want to talk about it?!". Very angry face. Stomps off toward the kids room. Later, I hear her mumble something about there being two hours of screaming (presumably her doing the screaming).
I leave her alone until our Skype counselling session. During the session, which was again mainly focused on her, she cries and talks about she's not happy, etc. Even though I'm giving her as much time away from me and the kids as I can tolerate. She is seeing them on average of about maybe two hours/day during her "guy" week. Maybe a little longer on the other week. Sometimes goes a stretch of 36 hours without seeing them at all.
Counsellor asks very insightful questions about what her dream life would be if she could have it. She answers with things like, "It doesn't do any good to imagine that, because I can't have it." Refusing to get into specifics. Says sometimes she feels she's in "corner" and can't get out. In my mind, she's in pretty damn good corner, with a good husband, kids, job, house, etc., and getting to see another guy 25-30 hours/week for what is essentially a date night everytime she's with him.
Counsellor asks me why I'm able to tolerate the kids while she can't. I tell her I think it's either a basic personality difference or some kind of brain chemisty issue (without specifically saying I think she needs to be under some kind of medication to handle her extreme moodiness, or bi-polar issue).
Tonight's our date night. So no kids, and hopefully she'll put some of her "guy" energy into me tonight. I'd like to start working on the intimacy. I think when we're back to where we should be, it'll help her, too, because I'll be more content and more likely to be understanding when she wants to do some of the things she wants to do. I'm still not entirely sure if her "guy" was out of the picture she'd want to put more energy into me or not.