Thread: The Unknowing.
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Old 02-21-2013, 03:03 AM
trixlg's Avatar
trixlg trixlg is offline
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Georgia (Marietta)
Posts: 15
Default The Unknowing.

Hi all, going to put a Warning out here. my grammar sucks ball's! sorry, I try, I really, really do.

Moving on. I have been with this sight for some time.. I created an account years and years ago when I was a newbie looking for more info, didn't realize I had it and forgot about it, and now here I am back...

I am back on here. why because every person needs some where to go, and when you feel like you have run out of choices, Even when your SO and you communicate like crazy its some times hard and need more opinions other then just your SO. Not to validate what your thinking, just more opinions more stuff to dig in and give you food for thought.. and to learn with and grow with..

So with that Hello You can call me trixlg or trix which ever I don't mind.
I am 36 who relates bi and very femmie. I put my self in to a percentage bracket. Basically, if I didn't have my SO I would be most defiantly lesbian, with my SO I say I am 80% lesbian 20 % Straight A.. My
SO. I call him boie, he's three years younger then I. So that makes him 33. We have been together as a couple for 18 years, married for 15 and I have been open with who I am for 8 years now out and proud and open about being Bi, and I have been poly for 5 years maybe longer. I don't know if I should include my boie in on poly? I relate as poly he says he relates as mono, however, after many conversation's he is acceptable to being poly if we were able to find the right mesh for our family and lifestyle and to be bluntly honest I am always work through all my issues.<sigh>

We met in high school I was a senior he was a sophomore. It wasn't not love at first sight, he was actually going to be a one night stand for me, I was in serious hurting pain.. I had just broken it off with a Man, and I do say man he was 26 i was 18 that we had been on and off again for 3 years. My mother put a restraining order against him, well because he was married. However, I and him new what we were doing, and he was and adult about it and had told his wife who he was separated from, however I just woke up and realized I Wanted and needed more and he wasn't able to do that for me I moved on.

any how as months went on and I was intrigued with my boie sweet love of young ones, I fell in love between realizing when I allowed another man to kiss me while I was away at college and he seen it happen, and when I felt I couldn't be with out him mah boie.

by that next summer I was married to him and have been happily married every since, however we do have our up's and our downs like any normal couple, we have been through a lot of normal life shit, but we have managed to communicate and talk it through were pretty much on the same page, some times we get off a page or two but generally were there.

we had our first child when he was 17 and I was almost 21, our second child came 4 years later.

Right after 2nd child I ended up with postpartum that ended up into Deep Depression, with some major issues.. I never really talk about them, because I feel that I have over came a lot in my life, I went through therapy for 2 years, and was medicated for 3. I finally weaned my self off the medication due to really good therapy.. and Thought I was able to work through all the bs from my childhood trama.. basically a damn broke in my head and shit I blocked from my childhood.. came poring out after my daughter was born. I don't know if it was cause I had a girl or what but it happened, I had a lot of issues I almost ended my life one night.. but my child is what stopped me. I knew at that very moment that what I was about to do would affect her for the rest of her life, and my sons.. and that I didn't want to be that type of mother.. so I vowed never ever be that mother who left her children because she couldn't deal.. I maned up got the help I needed, tried not to push my husband away, due to the trauma and ended up on top.. or maybe..
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