good luck. it is sad to lose a friend, but choices have to be made in every relationship to make them work for you. the husband or the lifestyle is a tough decision, i know, although my sit. was reversed. (he wanted poly and i didnt at first.) may the communication between you get to the point where he is willing to make a hard choice for your needs as well.
crab-lion: 42 y/o bi woman domestic partner w/lion
lion: 39 male hetero domestic partner w/crab-lion
twin: bi woman lion's girlfriend/almost lover
d: hetero woman lion's long distance girlfriend