Re (from soleilselene, Post #4
"Also the point that I am keeping this from my husband (with his permission, because he wants it this way) might rub some polies wrong."
Sounds like DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell). It's not a generally recommended practice, but I reckon it works for some folks, and it sounds like it works for you.
Polyamory does as a rule have to do with emotional and/or romantic relationships. Perhaps the guys you are seeing are friends with benefits?
I don't personally have any problem with your participation here, as long as you want to participate. If there's any thoughts or advice I can give that would help, let me know.