Originally Posted by AJ1
Honestly...I kinda disagree with this. You two were together for 5 years, planned on being together forever, and it has only been about a year since that ended. I don't think it is at all unusual for her to still be dealing with the grief of that kind of loss.
It doesn't sound like she is trying to initiate contact, or actually *do* anything to or with you. If that is the case, maybe let whoever is tattling to you about her FB/OKC escapades know that you just don't want to hear about it. If she does try to contact you or impact your life, you can deal with the specific action when it occurs.
But honestly, I don't see this as crazy-person behavior. It just sounds like coping with grief. Even if she wanted it to end, there is still going to be a lot of emotional work to do to get over the ending of a relationship that intimate. True, not everyone will go to these lengths to check up on an ex, but that doesn't mean she is dangerous.
I agree with AJ1. Unless it escalates, just ignore it.
Since you're not interested in apologizing to your ex and making peace, let her work out her anger in her own way.
You were with her for five years, and now you've been sleeping with her friend for about a year...a year goes by pretty quick, and it's not unreasonable for her to still be angry and grieving.