I'm not sure what you mean by 'can't do any group related activities the first day.' ?? Can you elaborate?
I don't have social anxiety, but I do have a physical condition that keeps from doing a regular thing (like every week or every month).
I really like meetup for finding stuff to do. I am signed up with several groups that are very active, they have lots of things going on. So if I find myself with a day when I have strength and interest, I can find an activity to go to.
If you find things you're very interested in, that may help overcome the anxiety about the fact that people are involved. I go to things like discussion groups, in which it's perfectly acceptable to sit and listen. I also like to eat, and there are several social groups that do a dinner thing, and I like those. [which is a huge overcoming for me, in 8th grade, I could not eat in front of other people (besides family)]
It's also not date-focused, it's a way to meet people and think about (without the pressure) 'would I like to date this or that person?' But you don't have to DO anything about it. There's also the wonderful chance that someone might think you'd be a nice person to date, or to introduce to their brother or sister or bff.
Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own...
Robert A. Heinlein
Me: female, bi, (formerly hinge of a vee)
with FirstBoyFriend (FBF)(moderately long-distance)
and no longer with CurrentBoyFriend (CBF)(who lives in the apartment building next door)