Unsure about so much
I need to start this from the top. For years my husband has pushed for an open marriage, now i know that an open marriage is very different from polyamory, now I did have sex with other men and enjoyed it but there were times of guilt so I didn't do it for quite awhile. Time passed and I got involved in a online social game where I could do what I wanted with whom I wanted and it filled the needs . I got very much into this world so much so when i got up it was normal to have my coffee and talk to my friends in there. I met men even dated in this game. My husband saw me caring for the men probably more then i should of because it was online and I knew I would never meet them in the real world or so I've told myself over the yrs. I happened to meet someone in the game that told me about polyamory at first i was like what are you kidding me then the more I thought about the more i realized that in many ways I had been living the life style with out physically being with someone other then my husband. In the mean time he had made friends with a woman that from the day I met her she rubbed me the wrong way, But for his sake tried to be her friend and tried to let her get to know me. As time went on the relationship with her bothered me more and more and still does bother me but I know that there's nothing I can do really I don't want to loose my husband love him very much. We've been together for nearly 13 yrs now and we have a very handsome son.
We have talked about polyamory because I know that he does love this girl but I don't trust her at all, and with all the reading I've done on polamory I know that trust is everything on all sides.
Is it wrong of me to ask him to stop talking to her after 4 yrs because she's made it clear to me at least that she wants more then his love?
Now he's told me to see whom I want but as of yet I've gone out on a few harmless dates and had one fleeting relationship that is now just friendship. I would like to find that someone that is going to be ok with the fact that I am wanting a poly relationship. at the same time not many men where I live are so open minded. Its ok to have a fling with a married woman and be friends after but to be in a relationship with her and everyone is happy that doesn't happen it seems.
What I'm most unsure about is while I want the poly relationship is it wrong that I'm not liking his choice and do I have the right to say something that could make our relationship fall apart?