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Old 02-18-2013, 02:56 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
Posts: 2,448

Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
If her agreement with her husband is "no communication at all" with you, that you communicate and have coffee dates is helping her to break one of her relationship agreements. (Whether or not the agreement is rational and reasonable is another story, but she would have to go to him to renegotiate that limit. The agreement is with him not you. )
Originally Posted by vmsmith View Post
Her husband discovered our emails and he forced her to cut off communication.
It doesn't sound like much of an "agreement" to me. It sounds like her husband gave himself the authority to dictate whom she's allowed to speak with as friends. Fuck that shit.

I'm not condoning her lying to her husband, but she's free to talk to whoever she wants to. She ought to stand up to her husband and tell him that she will not allow him to choose her friends.

Originally Posted by vmsmith View Post
she did attempt to renegotiate the communication agreement, but failed.
What's there to fail at? It's not like she's six and he's her father. "Dearest Husband, I'm just letting you know that as a grown woman, I have the right to choose my friends. I'm going to keep talking to this vmsmith character. If you have a problem with that, I'm open to discussion about your feelings, but I am not willing to allow you to control my behaviour."

If he's honestly willing to throw away a marriage because of a friendship, whatever that friend might have been in the past, then he's really not worth fighting for.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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