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Old 02-18-2013, 10:49 AM
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Helo Helo is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: California
Posts: 279
Default Ex Troubles, Now Troubles

I'm kinda bummed that I couldn't come up with a more clever title, the word "ex" should lend itself to some interesting wordplay.

I'm at a little bit of a sticky situation that I'm fairly unfamiliar with and wouldn't mind some input on.

Prologue: I was in a mono relationship for five years, we'd been exclusive and very mono, engaged to be married, talking about kids, the whole nine yards. Our relationship fell apart for a variety of reasons, poly being one. To call it a messy breakup would be akin to calling the Hindenburg an "oopsie." A lot of bitterness and anger on both sides, for valid and bullshit reasons. One of her best friends is a ladyfriend of my acquaintance currently, that was an arrangement that my ex proposed before we separated and her friend and I have continued. We try to keep it out of the limelight, neither of us has a desire to "rub" anything in anyone's face.


Currently, my ex and I have been separated for a year and change. I haven't even spoken to her in probably a year. Recently I came to learn that she's been..."checking up on me" via FB through the accounts of other people. A little FB stalking is whatever, but I have also come to learn that she's aware of my presence on other sites. Sites where there is no way that I am aware of that she would know of. She's apparently read my entire OKC profile that no one I know has. She's also, from what I hear, been stepping up her inquiries about me to mutual friends.

This is a little...unsettling. I'm not in fear for my life or anything like that but, emotional stability has never been her strong suit and actively searching me out and keeping tabs on me for a considerable stretch of time after we've separated is not the most normal activity in the world.

I'm used to ex's who have problems, but its usually DUDE ex's that get the hint once they see the 6'1'' friend standing behind the girlfriend when she reiterates that they are over. I have no real experience dealing with an ex girlfriend who hasn't crossed the "restraining order" line yet but is still paddling around in the shallow end of crazy.

I'm not interested in making up and being friends, I'm not looking to bury any animosity or sign a peace treaty. I just want to be left alone.
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