Originally Posted by Emm
"I'll kill myself" as a threat seems to be more socially acceptable than "I'll kill my neighbour", but really they're pretty much the same - an attempt by person A to hang a life on the line and make it person B's fault when the line breaks..
This is the single most significant, poignant and well-put sentence and explanation of suicidal threats I have ever seen or heard. Very well put, Emm.
OP, your husband is going beyond advantage-taking and moving into the victimizing realm. His motivation appears to be about some young sex and not much else. It's horseshit. Set a date, together, by which time he has to make a decision and act accordingly- like a man. Clearly communicate that this current arrangement is unacceptable for you and must change, but that he's free to change it how he sees fit. Your needs and happiness are paramount, period.
When he complains that it isn't fair, calmly remind him that you're carrying children. His children. In all fairness
he should understand that his job is to take cre of you.
Best of luck. Hang in there. It can and will get better.