Hey there, sounds like you're having some serious stress. I'm a... twin as you say, and most of the important relationships of my life have been lions. Every time I look at horoscopes (and I do regularly, because I put a good chunk of stock in it) for gemini women with other signs, it often talks about how twins like variety and it's hard to keep up with them. From my experience at least, twins and lions mesh very well, though it's got its share of misunderstandings (as you say, sparks). Err..I've yet to date a crab so I have nothing to throw in there about your dynamic.
So as this is a blog post and not a regular forum post I won't ask too many questions, but, you sound really unhappy right now. Sounds like you liked her too but she's mostly interested in your male partner, and you're less than thrilled about a V vs a triad? Mainly because it sounds like you are feeling neglected (and haven't set down firm agreements about time). I don't know if you have a primary secondary model or not, but regardless, the important thing is to make sure you are getting your needs met. If you aren't, even if she has become dependent on daily support from him, if you need a 24 hour period (or more) for just you two, it's not a bad thing, and it doesn't make you, a bad person, to ask for this (emergency text sure! it sounds like you would like her to seek other friends/family/partner sources for comfort). If there isn't a clear end in sight, letting yourself suck up the unhappy forever isn't a good solution.
I encourage you to ask for specific help in the forum area, and I'm always open to pm's if you want to vent/ask questions privately. It seems like a lot of people newer to poly ..fear making their wants and needs clear to their partners, and allow a lot of misery in when it could be avoided. I'll also throw in..I've yet to meet a lion who could help me grow as a person, maybe it's different with a crab, but in gemini/leo, gemini is the pusher of growth. I say that so if your dynamic is similar, don't be too disappointed if he can't help you out of your hiding or help you figure things out, you may just have to drive your bus to find ways to help yourself.
I'll just say as a lion dater...you need to be FIRM about what you want. Ask for it, and clarify because they will misinterpret it if it suits them (not maliciously, just because they are people pleasers). Maybe this isn't the case for your situation but, thought I'd throw it out there in case it rings true.
Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have.
Last edited by Anneintherain; 02-18-2013 at 03:34 PM.