Originally Posted by Astador
hey there. I have recently found myself in a situation witch is now a polyandry relation. Me and my gf have been together for over a year and about 2 months ago she confesed to me she was in love with another man.
I love her very much and I know she loves me to but now she also has these feelings for this third man (Call him GW).
She is seeing this comming in the future to us all living together and us shareing her.
I love here with all my heart and she makes me happyer than I have ever been. Is there any advice on how I can make this work?
All I want is to make her happy
Edit: Ohh and BTW anyone who has an opinion feel free. I am very rational and will not over react to any post. I just want to talk about it all.
Well - a couple comments seem appropriate ......
Have you two sat down and had any discussions about what it means to love multiple people (we'll say in a romantic sense- I don't like the term though)? How aware are both of you about the issues such a lovestyle entails? Things like this seem easy from a philosophical prospective but are somewhat different in practice. But with love - all IS possible - and potentially beautiful - but never effortless.
The third party (GW) apparently already has reservations - realistic or not. He's going to need some re-education and TLC to attempt this himself.
And, as a side note I feel I have to mention that your expression of total compersion (only caring about her happiness), as lovely as it sounds, raises a flag for me. It's possible - very true. It's also possible that it's a warning sign and cover-up of heavy dependency. I'd have a little talk (honest) with myself some night and see if there's any of that floating around there. Because if it is, you need to work on that, because long term it will destroy ANY relationship you have - mono-poly or otherwise ! Better to identify it now and get to work on it than deal with the damage it will cause lots of people later.
Good luck. We're all hear to help any way we can on these issues.