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Old 02-16-2013, 10:21 PM
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Valentine Valentine is offline
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Dude's been a youth group adviser at the church for something like 4-5 years. He's great at it. He cares very deeply about the kids and has helped a lot of them through very difficult things like substance abuse, sexual assault, horrible parenting, eating disorders, questioning sexual orientation, mental/emotional disability, etc. And this is not the first time a kid has gotten a crush on him. He's always maintained good boundaries in the past. This time, he didn't. He got too close, enjoyed her attention too much, and started secretly reciprocating. It was a lot simpler than the relationships he had with adult women. He figured it was ok because it wasn't sexual. He was wrong.

The kid in question wouldn't describe herself as a victim. She actually tried to take on responsibility for it, which says to me she thinks of herself as an accomplice more than anything else. I tried to talk her down from it. I think it helped a little. That was before the ministers talked with her and her parents.

The ministers have since reached out to everyone involved. Dude is suicidal... if they didn't offer support to him and encourage him to continue therapy, they'd be lax in their duties.

As a side note - This isn't a Christian church, really. My UU church is comprised mostly of secular humanists, with a smattering of Buddhists, pagans, and liberal mostly-ex-Christians. The religion's roots are in some old branches of Christianity, but there's little talk of god or Jesus. We have more sermons on immigrant rights and water justice.
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