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Old 02-16-2013, 10:00 AM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 260

Originally Posted by InfinitePossibility View Post
I wonder often if there is just such a focus on romance that sometimes it just doesn't feel okay not to have it in our lives?
While I do think that there's way, way too much societal focus on romance - especially the closed, one-on-one, symbiotic monogamy kind - as the must-have ideal, I don't really think that's part of the deal here.

Feeling a need/drive/wish/whateveryoucallit for sex is completely independent from feeling it for romance. While romantic sexuals are the majority by quite a big margin, there also are aromantic sexuals, romantic asexuals, and aromantic asexuals, too... even before bringing all the grey areas in between into the picture. And as long as they handle their 'ships with honesty and respect, I have no beef with any single one of those combos.

Romance really has nothing to do with sex, in and of itself... it just happens to coincide that way for you and lots of other people. Which is perfectly fine, of course - just not true for everyone.

Originally Posted by SchrodingersCat View Post
Eye roll indeed. That makes absolutely no sense at all. Do these same people "call out heteros for homophobia" just because they only want relationships with people of the opposite sex? Do they not get offended if sexual people call them "sexophobic"? They can't possibly believe that their asexuality is not a valid dealbreaker for someone who requires sex in a relationship?
"Funnily" enough, these folks actually are often very scalding of sexual people in general, yep, and will hold it against you if you say can't live without sex. (Also, usually disliking heterosexuals as much as homo, bi, pan, whathaveyou... so "calling heteros out for homophobia" doesn't happen too much from them - they're "equal opportunity haters" on that front. ) IMO, the word "sexophobic" is quite fitting; a more common word is antisexuals (and yup, they can be quite as rabid as that label suggests, while actually wearing it as a badge of pride... if you ever want to see slut shaming at its "best", just watch an antisexual shift into high-gear and start a rant. )

I guess it just shows that in every group, you'll get some vocal jerkasses fueled by intolerance and/or entitlement issues... and it makes me sad that there's a sizeable risk of asexuality getting conflated with antisexuality because of a fanatic subgroup's vocal antics. (It's especially grating to me, as I have to admit that during puberty and early twenties, I had quite an antisexual mindset, myself... I am very glad I managed to mature out of it. Intolerance and elitism gets you nowhere, least of all into a loving relationship.)

Last edited by InsaneMystic; 02-16-2013 at 10:49 AM.
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