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Old 02-16-2013, 06:59 AM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by franchescasc View Post
Anytime I've talked about if it was a serious relationship she says something about this town and how she wishes it were different. I'm just not sure if that's a reflection of how she feels about me, our relationship or just the place we live.
My interpretation, based on first impression only, is that being able to be "out and about" with your loved one is something that she considers integral to her version of a "serious relationship."

I can practically remember the exact day that my girlfriend and I had this conversation. She's the "fall fast and hard" type, likes to see her partners each and every day if possible. I take things slower and I'm much more introverted and solitary, I'm fine to go days without seeing someone. Early on in our relationship, we had a talk about where we both saw this going. I told her I wanted something a little more casual.

At first she really struggled with that, since it's completely against her nature and every relationship she's ever had. But her husband came to our rescue and explained to her that if she came in too hard & heavy, she would scare me away. It took her a lot of processing and self-control, but she scaled it back. Now she basically thanks me for teaching her independence in relationships, so that's kinda cool.

Despite our beginnings, we've grown much more serious than my initial expectations. Like the tortoise and the hare, I take my time but I get there eventually. So with that in mind, my advice is just take it at face value for now and just give it space to grow. After all, what's more important: the quality time you spend with her or the label you put on that time?
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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