the thing about milk comes from the days when tea was drunk from fine china cups, having been brewed from loose leaves in a pot. the china was so fragile that if you poured boiling-hot or just-boiled water into them without milk already in the cup they would crack or shatter with painful consequences. the rule "milk before tea" stuck around long after people stopped making tea that way, though, as it became a kind of etiquette or class-snobbery thing.
personally i rarely use a pot, and even more rarely do i use loose-leaves or fine china cups. on special ocassions, but very rarely.
i use teabags, and large (one pint if that makes anything to you?) mugs so its not such an issue. i prefer not to put the milk in for a good five minutes or so because i like the tea strong and once you add milk the teabag tends to stop giving out tea for some reason. also because i am impatient and it cools quicker if you wait before adding the milk.
i use oat or soya milk these days since developing lactose-intolerant irritable bowel syndrome, and no sugar. you?