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Old 02-15-2013, 05:28 PM
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SchrodingersCat SchrodingersCat is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Canada
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Originally Posted by Vinccenzo View Post
There is nothing wrong with putting your partner first if they are someone who will do the same - IN THE WAYS YOU NEED to be put first.
"Putting your partner first" is a little vague. Do you put your partner's wants ahead of your own needs? I hope not. Putting your partner's wants ahead of your own wants? Sure, sometimes, if there's give and take. Putting your partner's needs ahead of your needs? Then it depends on which is the greater need, and how much you're sacrificing by giving it up.

I have a need to communicate with my husband. I prefer to communicate as soon as something comes up. My husband is more the type to think things over before talking about them. He needs time to process his thoughts before he's ready to communicate. By respecting his need first, I ultimately satisfy my own need to a greater extent: communication happens eventually, and it's more effective than if I forced him to speak before he's ready.
As I am sure any cat owner will be able to tell you,
someone else putting you in a box is entirely different
from getting into a box yourself.
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