Well...LateToTheParty's party might be over.
Over the past few days, I've noticed a problem down 'there'...and what started as looking like a pimple - making me think it was clogged pores, ingrown hair, something - now looks exactly like photos I've seen of herpes.
I got blood drawn at the clinic yesterday, so I'm waiting for results. My wife did the same. Her guy and his wife are going to follow suit.
I'm trying my hardest not to go to dark places. I'm really attempting to keep my mind in the present moment, knowing that it could be a number of things, and that I don't yet have solid info. But I'm not doing great with it. I mean...I *just* started to feel great about myself...about getting myself out there...was excited about the possibilities with M...and now this?? If she's feeling unsure or debating things right now...what is an STD disclosure going to do? I'm afraid she's going to run...as most others will. And I was just starting to develop some genuine feelings for her. Dammit. I feel like I might as well leave her alone now.
A little more background...J, my wife, and her guy haven't used condoms because he's fixed, and hasn't been with anyone outside his wife in years, never had an issue..and yes, I know...they *really* should have been using them, regardless. I know it doesn't matter ultimately, but he has no symptoms. I had sex with his wife once...over a month ago...and we used a condom. And she has been tested several times over the past few years. She doesn't have symptoms, either.
I'm so discouraged and sad right now. I'm feeling like I've barely dipped my toes into the water of this exciting, wonderful new world, and it's now tainted and going to become more difficult, if not impossible. I've already heard of the hardships that married, poly men have with meeting new people (as compared to women's experiences)...and to possibly have this on top of it is rather devastating.