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Old 02-15-2013, 01:18 PM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: The Big Apple
Posts: 10,083

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
100% agreed. That's basically what my first response to you was about.
I know.

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
So, you do still keep your option open to the possibility of having a sexless partnership? I really can't follow your logic here...
I am saying that I always strive to make choices rather than decisions. In this case, I choose to honor who I am by seeking relationships that allow me to fully express myself. That full expression includes sexual intimacy. I choose to seek out lovers who click with me that way. I know, from experience, that a relationship could wind up continuing without sex. My choice does not eliminate that possibility. If that is what happens, I would deal with it accordingly, whether it is to find a remedy to make the relationship work, or to end it altogether. But, basically, I always want to make choices that align with who I am. To choose is to say "yes" to something or someone.

A decision is about what you will say "no" to. To decide is to eliminate, and kill off all other possibilities. All I am saying here is that I am not "deciding" that "no sex is a deal-breaker." I am choosing to fully express myself in relationships. There is a difference.

It is the same as being child-free by choice rather than "childless." I choose to be free of the responsibilities and burdens of childbirth and child-rearing. I do not view myself as childless, as if I made a decision and because of it, something is missing. I chose freedom.

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
ETA in response to your ETA:
I did not post an ETA. I understand that to mean "Estimated Time of Arrival."

Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
What if someone who isn't compatible to you wants to start something with you? What would you call it when you turn them down? Choice, decision, or what else? (I'm pretty fine with "decision" in that case, it's nice and final. )
Saying "no" to someone is simply an action that supports my choice. I am also not saying that I never make decisions; sometimes it is perfectly appropriate to eliminate and leave oneself with no other options. But usually when I stew about something and then decide what to do about it, it doesn't go as well as I'd hoped. In the overall picture of my life and how I want it to go, I prefer to see myself as making choices that are good for me.
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