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Old 02-15-2013, 12:00 PM
InsaneMystic InsaneMystic is offline
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 261

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
A preference is not a phobia. I can befriend an asexual, eat dinner with an asexual, sit next to one on a bus, and so on, without freaking out. I am not prejudiced against asexuals. I just would not be in a romantic relationship with one because for me that would have to include sex, while for him it would not. Therefore, we would not be compatible. It isn't rocket science to figure that out.
100% agreed. That's basically what my first response to you was about.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
No, it is not. A decision kills off all other possibilities. The root of the word "decide" is the same as homicide, suicide, patricide, etc. I prefer to make choices over decisions. With choices there are always other options.
So, you do still keep your option open to the possibility of having a sexless partnership? I really can't follow your logic here...

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I've experienced a long-term loving relationship without sex and it was very limiting for me. As I said, it is about self-expression for me. I would feel like an artist prevented from being able to paint or sculpt. Of course I know I won't die without sex. I can always have sex with myself or have a casual hook-up if I need it that badly. If I am intimately involved with someone whom I love and care about and want to get close to, I need to fully connection all levels of expression and communication. It isn't really a decision that I will do this or do that and leave other options behind; it is a knowing what I need to be myself and to be happy.
You can choose to live a life that makes you unhappy, though. (It just wouldn't make sense, and I'm glad that you've chosen not to limit yourself that way. )

ETA in response to your ETA:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
[...] and a compatibility issue (as I stated above). People are compatible or not - there aren't really any earth-shattering decisions or choices to make if there is no compatibility.
What if someone who isn't compatible to you wants to start something with you? What would you call it when you turn them down? Choice, decision, or what else? (I'm pretty fine with "decision" in that case, it's nice and final. )

Last edited by InsaneMystic; 02-15-2013 at 12:05 PM.
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