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Old 02-15-2013, 11:08 AM
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nycindie nycindie is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InsaneMystic View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
I want to express myself physically with people I am romantically involved with. I know I definitely could not get involved with an asexual person, nor someone whose life situation or other relationships would prevent me from getting laid.
Just to keep any possible misunderstandings nipped in the bud: There's nothing at all wrong with that decision of yours that "no sex" will be a dealbreaker for you . . .
Of course not. Why would there be anything wrong with it? What misunderstandings could come out of my saying I want sex? I would never have thought there is something wrong with that.

However, I must correct you - I didn't make a decision. I just know that's what I've always wanted. I view sex as a form of communication and I want to be able to express myself sexually. I didn't sit around and think about it, and decide that "no sex is a deal-breaker." No sex doesn't work for me in a love relationship, not only because I have a high libido, but because I honor my need for that kind of connection. I can have casual sex with people I am not in love with but I can't be happy without sex in a relationship with people I do love as more than friends. It would just make me too sad not to be able to completely express who I am with them. My ex and I drifted apart because we were no longer having sex and I became extremely depressed to be laying next to him at night and without being physically intimate.
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An excellent blog post on hierarchy in polyamory:
solopoly.net/2014/10/31/why-im-not-a-secondary-partner-the-short-version/

Last edited by nycindie; 02-15-2013 at 11:12 AM.
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