@SoL: That's an interesting thought, and it may well play a role. It's helpful to be reminded that there are lots of reasons why this might be hard/strange for her. Still, unless I can actually do something about it, I'm trying not to focus too much on any particular explanation, and instead just deal with the reality as it is. I figure that if I use a rationale as a crutch, it'll hurt all the more if it gets taken away... for instance, for a while I was just working under the idea that she wasn't a particularly sexual person, and when she became very interested in sex with Dexter I had a hard time coming to terms with the new reality I was faced with.
The major players. Me, 30ish bi female. Gia, girlfriend of 4+ years. Clay, boyfriend/dom. Davis, ex/friend/"it's complicated." Eddie, roommate & fwb.
The supporting cast. Eric, Gia's husband. Bee, Gia and Eric's toddler. Dexter, Gia's lover. Helen, Eric's lover. Izzy and Nikki, Clay's partners. Liam, Eddie's husband.