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Old 02-14-2013, 11:12 PM
polyconundrum polyconundrum is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Somewhere on the west coast of North America
Posts: 13

I'm really confused because I know that in the past, I haven't been satisfied with just one person. I often felt stifled and would be attracted to other people but couldn't act on it because I was in monogamous relationships. And that was always something that attracted me to poly - being able to have multiple relationships. But when the person I'm in a relationship with is dating other people, that's when the jealousy comes in. It's totally hypocritical and I realize that.

The other thing going on here for me I think is that I want something different than my partner does, but we've used the word "primary" or something similar to describe our relationship (yes, I know there's lots of controversy around that word). We've had the talk about how we see each other as "primaries" in terms of emotional connection because we are more emotionally connected than just being FWBs, but we're nowhere near being committed in the sense that we are going to live together and have kids or anything like that. I would like to have that with someone eventually, though, and lately I've wanted "eventually" to turn into "sooner rather than later." But my partner doesn't want that. So that adds another layer of frustration to the whole thing and makes me think I should just "downgrade" my relationship with my partner and look for someone who is more interested in that kind of relationship.

But...Can you do that? When you have such an emotional connection to someone, can you just "downgrade" how you feel about them?
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