So this has all been a long distance, internet, text and/or telephone affair? He may not quite see it the same way you do. My husband had convinced himself that it wasn't cheating because there was no physical contact. There are lots of options once you guys can get past the cheating thing, but that should be the first order of business - Repair your marriage, then discuss changing the dynamic of the marriage. It sounds like you guys have needed some intervention for some time.