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Old 02-14-2013, 10:02 PM
RockerChick RockerChick is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Lancaster, PA
Posts: 17
Default "Happy" Valentine's Day? Sigh.

As a reminder, I'm still new at this, so ...

Of course, it's V-Day. I'm not much for celebrating Hallmark Holidays, and my primary hubby, Danny, and my bf, Michael, know this. And since this poly thing is so new to all of us, I agreed with Danny to stay home with him this evening (and not see Michael) so he doesn't feel abandoned on this stupid holiday (he's been dealing with some major abandonment issues).

However, my bf is having a very hard time today because he'll be alone tonight when he gets home from work. I ache to see him, but I have no desire to cause pain to Danny, and the reason I agreed to staying home was to help Danny while he's adjusting to my polyamory (and Michael has agreed that this is a good idea). The problem is that not seeing each other is becoming more painful by the day for Michael and me and, really, more so for MIchael because he lives alone.

This started with all three of us hanging out together regularly, and it was great at first. It's always been a "V" with me and the two men, and splitting time was easy at first. Now, Danny is having emotional trouble because he sees that Michael and I have become very attached to each other, and Michael and I have agreed to slow and down and allow Danny time to adjust. The problem is that, in the meantime, Michael and I are feeling some very real pain of separation, Michael more so than I because of living alone.

I know I need to continue to be patient if this is ever going to work. We've all talked of cohabitating at some point, but that will be some time away yet before that can work financially. For now, though, I'm very concerned about Michael. I want to reach out to comfort him, yet I can't do so at this time without hurting Danny. It seems there is no easy solution right now.

Anyway, thanks for giving me a place to share this. Sometimes I wish I wasn't polyamorous.
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