That does make sense. I may have over represented his insecurities. He must feel insecure a lot, but he hides it and it doesn't show much in his everyday life. I am one of the few people who he really let's his guard down around, and allows himself to be himself.
Something we do as a couple is to always say and show our appreciation for one another. That way when one of us is doing good at something necessary (like dishes) the deed rarely goes by without being acknowledged. I know I have benefitted greatly from this choice of willingly showing each other appreciation, my ego is well fed. But it has less impact for him, or less long standing impact to be precise.
We live fairly well into the countryside, but I might ask him if I can find a free counselor would he be interested? If he even thinks it would help? Paying for such a thing is out of the question, we couldn't afford it. Something to think about.
Your task is to acknowledge to yourself and others that every part of you has a right to exist.