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Old 02-14-2013, 09:55 AM
Cleo Cleo is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Europe
Posts: 485

if you are someone dealing with major insecurity issues, the problem is this:
when someone else tells you you are good enough, you don't believe them
when someone else tells you you are NOT good enough, you believe them.

No amount of reassurance is going to fix the insecurities. I know, because I was the insecure person once. My husband loved me hard and reassured me for 10 years and did not help. Then one night he told me he could not deal with my panic attacks and crying anymore and that if I did not do someting to change it, he ... could not deal with it (leaving it up to me to think about what that meant). The same night I went online and applied for the dreamjob that I had been too scared to apply for. I got therapy. I healed myself. He woke me up.

Now I'm not saying that any situation has to change so dramatically, but just wantd to illustrate that no amount of 'trying to make someone feel better' is going to actually make someone feel better. Short term maybe, but not really. The only person who can tackle this, is Ave.
Cleo - forties straight female
Ren - husband of 20 + years
Bo - BF of 3 years
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