So I arrive at BGuy's place. It's dark, messy and smoky and I like it. We sit at his kitchen table for a while, and talk. We instantly tumble into this deep and clever conversations.. he is so, so smart. He gets up to go to the bathroom and I say 'can I go sit on your sofa?' he says 'sure'. When he comes back I'm curled up on his sofa, taken off my shoes, and he says 'I pictured you sitting there, a number of times'.
He asks for my feet and starts giving me a nice, friendly footrub. I say I can't have sex with him. I say: 'but there's stuff we can do in the realm between footrubs and sex'. He says like what? I say 'like kissing' and I pull him over and then starts the hottest and best make-our session I've ever experienced... I think we kissed for almost 2 hours, only taking little breaks to sip some wine or to have flashes of intense conversation. We keep our clothes on, but there's a lot of touching and it's hothothot!!! It's been a long time since I've been so turned on by just kissing, maybe it is the knowledge that this is all we will do tonight, and the fact that I told him this and he's not expecting more, which makes me so relaxed.
God I love what happens when that shift from conversation to lust manifests.. it's like a layer is shed, you see someone in a different light, and you trust them to show yourself in a different light. Love love love the look on someones face when they are lost in lust, and knowing that's it's my body and my touch that is making this happen.
Oh my it was nice
I sent him an email a couple of days later and told him: this is my proposal: I want to get naked with you and do stuff that will be fun for both of us, but, for now, anything but actual fucking. If you are ok with this, I'd love to see you again.
We agreed to see each other in a couple of weeks
I think, after 4 years of poly, this is the first truly playful, no strings attached, but very respectful, fun and open relationship I've encountered. I can see us having lots and lots of fun, without me getting anxious in between dates.
I realized something today - from the very beginning when I started dating (while poly) I always imagined every guy, even the ones I had one night stands or casual sex with, to become the love interest that I was looking for. I would always picture myself in their lives, hanging out, meeting each others friends, becoming part of each others lives. Cooking together, eating together, watching movies together, going away on weekends, taking long hikes... .
I think BGuy is the very first connection I made with who I don't feel this. I don't want to do anything with him except talk, drink wine and make out.
Maybe I've finally grasped the FWB concept?