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Old 02-14-2013, 04:53 AM
JaneQSmythe JaneQSmythe is offline
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Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Pennsyl-tucky
Posts: 1,181
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaGirl View Post
... What do I get out of being in a relationship with DH? I get to enjoy me being with DH.

I can't get that anywhere else. The me with him that I am and get to be? Can only come with him.

Oh, I could arrive here in this Me Place with another -- content, stable, happy. Come at it from the pretty bowl side.

But I only get the pretty fish views and experience here with him.

I can live without the bowl. Be fun to get to have bowl too.

But I know I want the fish. So here we be. We keep on choosing each other. Daily.

Galagirl
Egads, YES! Brilliant.

"The me with him that I am and get to be? Can only come with him."

The me that I get to be at this moment is the me that I am with him - I would not be that me if I weren't with him. I would be a different me - that isn't to say a worse me or a better me - but the experience of being with him, of choosing to continuously be with him, shapes and informs the me that I am. Over and over - an ongoing process.

Now that I am with another him too? - that also shapes the me that I am. Now I am the me that I am when I am with them. It's not a generic - "this is how I am when I am with two people". It is very specific - this is the me that I get to be when I am with these two persons - who are the them that they are because they choose to be with the me that I am.

Which does NOT mean that we aren't complete people in and of ourselves. I am a whole person, whether I am with many people or none - but I am not unaffected by the people I choose to be with...so I am careful who I choose (I like enjoying being the me that I am! - pretty fish in pretty bowl - Joy!).

JaneQ
__________________
Me: poly bi female, in an "open-but-not-looking" Vee-plus with -
MrS: hetero polyflexible male, live-in husband (21+ yrs)
Dude: hetero poly male, live-in boyfriend (3+ yrs) and MrS's best friend
Lotus: poly bi female, "it's complicated" relationships with Dude/JaneQ/MrS (1+ years)
TT: poly bi male, married to Lotus, FB with JaneQ
VV and MsJ: bi-women with male primaries, LTR LDR FWBs to JaneQ


My poly blogs here:
The Journey of JaneQSmythe
The Notebook of JaneQSmythe
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