View Single Post
Old 02-14-2013, 04:09 AM
Phy's Avatar
Phy Phy is offline
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Germany
Posts: 610

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
I swing both ways sometimes. Most the time, I'm an introvert, until I get comfortable with people - then it's hard to shut me up.
Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
My conclusion is that these people are extroverts who need social contact in order to engage their brains. I don't. I am an introvert. My workplace is an escape from my personal life.
I am not sure as what I could classify personally. I am not social, as far as I will never seek out those contacts willingly. I just don't get this need to chat with each and everyone. But, if the situations comes up and I am asked, I don't think much and just answer and talk to people. I don't have any problems talking to others, but I wouldn't start this stuff. Because I would always assume:

Originally Posted by SNeacail View Post
To those people that ask those questions, that's there way of letting you know you are valued (even if you don't see it that way) and they just want to be friendly. I tend to take it as a clue as to how they want to be treated.

If someone took the risk of revealing that they had been eavesdropping or talking with others about you, I would suspect that what they really want is to just be your friend.
That's exactly how I see it. If I am asked about my day, what I did, where I went, how my family is, I assume that they are just being polite. My boss is just like that and she is generally interested in the lifes of her employees. But I have to say that I never went through the hassle to see it a different way. Lin uses to tell me that I am too nave. I never assume bad intentions when interacting with others. That's why I wouldn't think of someone like this:

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
No, she's just a busybody who likes to gab and gossip. Most people like her are only asking questions so that you ask a similar question back, and they then get to talk about themselves. I have her pegged, really. She's self-centered and self-involved, and never stopped to consider that maybe the way to be my friend is to respect my privacy and let me volunteer info when I feel comfy doing so.
It doesn't occur to me that someone could have ulterior motives. In general I know that some people are that way, but I forget about it ^.^ I am always dumbstruck when I encounter this truth again and again. I am gullible and believe in the good in man. And at the same time I am obliviousto this trait of mine Oh dear, what a combination

I am not even sure if I didn't talk to some of them. Not about my private love life, more in general. Maybe they really to some extend 'know me' and I just forgot about them. There has been one 'girl' (she was still so young, right from school and new at university, came across as really girl-ish) whom I still remember. She was totally excited when we were mixed up and had some group work stuff to do and the first thing she told me was something along the lines of Oh, nice to see you here! She was all smiles and I was like ok keep it low, did we talk? No, but we take course x and y as well together. I so liked z about your answer there and haven't you been to the library yesterday? She remembered me from sitting in the same room with me twice the week before. I simply don't see people. You have to be extremely flashy or say something really notable to catch my eye and interest. I know that I tend to forget even those I did talk to at one point in time.

Originally Posted by nycindie View Post
This has been on my mind a lot lately. During that day we worked together, she asked me a zillion questions. Not just about my freelance work, but also things like, "So do you like your new schedule? What days off do you have? Did you want to go full-time? What kind of work did you do before? Where do you live? What kind of apartment do you live in?" O. M. G.

Didn't she notice that I wasn't asking her anything about herself? I am not the type to divulge all this stuff to people I work with.
If I encounter those ones, I am polite as well if they don't come across as too intrusive. I answer most of those questions and ask something similar in return. Because, if they are interested and comfortable to get this kind of information from me, it is ok to ask the same in return. Except I don't like the person asking. Then I just skip that stuff and stay mostly quiet. (If I think about that, maybe I have 'an aura'. I am never really bothered by obnoxious people and conversation instantly comes to a halt when I am not interested or starting to get into a bad mood )

Ahhh dear, complicated stuff. That's why I never start it myself, too much hassle to think about
Facts: 30, female, bi, v-type relationship with Sward (husband, straight, mono) and Lin (boyfriend, straight, mono), poly-fi and co-primary.

My Blog
Reply With Quote